For What It's Worth
by Darksquall
Summary: Chapter five. Irvine gets thrown in solitary, Squall finds a way out. (Shounen-ai/Language/YAOI eventual.)
1. Chapter One

**For what it's worth.******

Dedicated, for her help in this fic and others, with all my love, to Astraea Trepe.   
Also with many many thanks to Race Ulfson, KNW and deamonryu for letting me bounce ideas and scenes off them with no idea of what the hell I'm doing.

(thanks to Nytedancer for the title idea)

The characters, places, etc are the property of Square and I make no claim. I am making no money from this. 

Chapter one.

The light. It was so perfect. The winter sunshine spilling golden through the breathtakingly cold air. He closed his eyes for a moment, letting the faint heat kiss his chilled skin, a blessed whisper of warmth and a promise of the spring and summer to come. The burning in his lungs subsided a moment before he coughed, the sound harsh in the otherwise silent, harbour. He opened his eyes again a little, watching the ripples shimmer and flicker in the sunlight. With his arms wrapped around himself, he took a step closer to the edge.  
  
"Gonna jump?"  
  
The voice surprised him, made him jump, skittering a little closer to the edge. "No, I am not going to jump." He sent a glare at the one who'd spoken.   
  
"Good." Irvine flashed him a lazy grin and strolled up beside him. "'Cause it's too damn cold to jump in after ya."  
  
"If I did jump, who's to say I'd want to be saved." He murmured and looked back out to the harbour.   
  
Irvine didn't hear the comment, or if he did, he chose to ignore it. "You worried about them?"   
  
Was he? No. Quistis and Selphie could handle anything a little island had to throw at them. It wasn't the island closest to hell, nor that closest to heaven, the monsters were practically beneath their skills but they had asked to go. They had wanted breaks from their desks as much as he had. A slight shake of his head dismissed Irvine's question.  
  
"Then what's wrong Squall?"  
  
"Just thinking."  
  
"'Bout Rinoa?" Irvine asked gently.  
  
He shook his head again. "Nothing."  
  
"You can't think about nothing Squall. Means your heads empty like Rin's." A small smile graced his lips and Irvine's grin widened. "Well, whaddya know, he can smile. I know that look Squall, you're lost in your own lil' world and you ain't gonna let no one in."  
  
"Then why did you ask?" He looked back out as the soft chugging of an engine sounded the return of the transporter.   
  
"Gotta keep hopin' you'll actually tell us one of these days."   
  
"Maybe I will." He murmured. The vessel pulled up to the dock, a faint whirr accompanying the lowering of the gangway. The girls stepped off and waved, receiving a curt nod from Squall and a hearty "hey there!" from Irvine in return.   
  
Squall allowed the Galbadian cowboy long enough to greet them before calling him. "We have to go. The train leaves soon."  
  
"See you when we get back girls." Irvine waved as he jogged back to his commander and they headed for the station.   
  


********

"So commander, what got ya out from behind that desk?" Irvine dropped his bag on the floor of the SeeD car. "Thought you were goin' soft on us." 

"You've read the mission briefing." Irvine nodded and dropped onto a seat as the train started. Squall waited a moment, half expecting another trip into the past under Ellone's guidance. 

"I have. Wonderin' why you wanna go back there and why you want me with you." Irvine removed his hat and dropped it onto the seat beside him. "Thought Zell woulda been more suitable for this mission, seeing as he's got unarmed combat experience."

"His temper isn't suitable." Squall perched on the bed and checked his junctions. "And don't you think it's about time I spent a little time in the field?"

"Yeah… but…"

Squall looked at his gloved hands, remembering the burns that the electrocution torture had left him with. Remembering Irvine's questioning gaze as he'd washed his wrists and palms off on their way back to Balamb Garden before curing them. "The regime has changed since then Irvine." He tried desperately not to remember Seifer. The look in his eyes, his brutal touch… 

Irvine gave him a faintly sorrowful look

"What kind of a commander would I be if I sent my SeeDs in to do a job I couldn't face myself?"  Squall dragged a gloved hand through his nutmeg locks and turned that ice cold silver grey gaze on Irvine. "It would be cowardly."

"You scare me Squall." 

Squall blinked in surprise at the comment but that was the only change in his façade to show the shock. "Why?"

"You're so professional for a eighteen year old. Don't you have any fun?"

"I have a job to do."

"Squall, you're gonna have a heart attack by the time you're twenty five."

"I am not."

"Yeah you are. You don't unwind and you're too much of a perfectionist." Irvine stretched with a satisfied sigh. "Since Rinoa left you hardly even come out with us."

"The only reason I did when she was here was because she dragged me."

Irvine chuckled. "I'll get Selphie to do that then." 

"Please don't."

Squall removed the mission briefing from him jacket pocket and re read it. He knew it by heart already, having written the entire thing himself. Infiltrate the facility known as d-district prison and liberate prisoner number 51962. The plan went into further detail but it was vague at best, but there was little information to go on. 

Zell would have been useful, but his short temper would probably get them in trouble. So he'd chosen Irvine, believing that two could infiltrate more effectively than a full team. It was breaking out that would be the problem though. 

They'd find a way. 

I watched as my stoic commander paced the floor, his youthful face closed down, showing no emotion other than looking faintly lost. I wondered absently how Rinoa could have done it. Got through to him, made him talk, made him feel then just turned around and walked out without so much as a good bye til she was far enough away to not have to see those beautiful silver-grey eyes looks so damn sad. Even if I lived to be a thousand, I wouldn't forgive the bitch for makin' Squall look like that. 

There were two sides to my unerring appreciation of Squall. The side that wanted to take care of him, to make sure no one hurt the fragile but ever sturdy young man. 

And the side that wanted to pull him close and kiss him breathless. To touch him. Taste him.

Fuck him.

Not gonna happen though. Rin had put a stop to all that with her thoughtless, scatter brained self-centeredness. She'd tried to change him and I guess, to a certain extent had succeeded, for a while at least.

He remembered how she'd complained about Squall always wearing so much leather. Blind bitch had no taste. Squall's ass was made for leather. Tight as he could stand. Squall had wanted to please her though, and the next day, had turned up at a picnic Selphie had arranged wearing blue jeans and a white muscle tee. He could make even the simplest of clothes looks so damn sexy it hurt.

Rin had left that day. Not told a soul.

Squall had shrugged and made a half hearted excuse about her being busy with Timber resistance. He'd kept smiling though, not as much as usual. Even been kinda playful for him. Selphie had claimed my hat before the commander had arrived, and when he'd told her of the budget total for her winter festival she'd thrown herself at him, hugged him and placed the black cowboy hat on his head with a beaming smile.

Squall didn't take it off. 

Until we had to go back I mean.

I'd been in his office as he took the call on speakerphone, I was supposed to be giving a report on the mission I'd completed the previous day.  She was always Rinoa to him. He never shortened her name, never gave her a nick name, think he thought it was disrespectful. He only calls Selphie Selph or even Seff because she asked him to. 

"Squall?" 

"Rinoa, where were you?" Gods the concern in his voice was damned awful. 

"Um… I'm in Timber Squall. Look, I can' do this, I need space. I feel so crowded I can't breathe. So I'm leaving you."  Now I know Squall hides his emotions, that he hates lettin' everyone know what he's feeling but Hyne the way that cold expression slammed down damn near made me jump. He couldn't hide the pain in his eyes though.

"Rinoa…" almost sounded like a plea.

"I won't change my mind. I left your ring on your bed."

With a click, the line went dead and he turned to look at me. "You can give your report later Irvine, you're dismissed."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."  

He waved it away and shook his head. "Forget it. I'd like to be alone, if you don't mind."

I stood up and walked to the door. "Ya know you deserve better Squall." 

I coulda sworn I'd heard him say "I don't deserve anything." as I left. Wish I'd asked him what he meant back then. He was still pacing the floor, he was gonna wear a hole in the floor and drop onto the tracks if he didn't stop. 

"Squall, will you sit down? You're makin' me dizzy."  

He looked up at me all confused for a second. "Oh. Sorry." He sat down next to me, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"What's wrong? You thinkin' about the mission?" He nodded, still lost in thought and I wondered if he'd even notice if I stripped and did the chocobo dance. From that look on his face, I was guessing the answer was gonna be no. 

"Mm." He murmured. 

"Squall, we'll be fine, We'll go in, stick around a few days then get our asses out. Okay?"  

"Sure." He looked at me like he believed me and leant back in his seat and was lost in thought again before you could say "Cactaur's spiky balls."  You can tell when he's thinkin' about work, he kinda pouts just a little, lips barely apart and Hyne that boy has a pretty mouth. One of those mouths that just begs to be kissed. I hoped this mission was gonna be short or I wasn't going to make it through this without tryin' somethin'. 

END CHAPTER ONE

Author's Notes.

Finally got the first chapter off the ground. I've been working on scenes for this on and off since January and it still isn't anywhere near finished. Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter Two

**For what it's worth.**

Dedicated, for her help in this fic and others, with all my love, to Astraea Trepe.   
Also with many many thanks to Race Ulfson, KNW and deamonryu for letting me bounce ideas and scenes off them with no idea of what the hell I'm doing.

(thanks to Nytedancer for the title idea)

The characters, places, etc are the property of Square and I make no claim. I am making no money from this. 

Chapter Two

"So, how are we going to get in there?" Irvine followed Squall, his gaze drifting down to that ass in the tight leather. Now that was a sight he really could get used to.

"Beat up a guard." Squall replied flatly, leading Irvine towards a bar frequented by Galbadian soldiers and the guards from the D district prison. 

"…..You're serious aren't you?" Irvine's gaze was still low, rather captivated by the hide-covered rear. 

Squall stopped suddenly, Irvine narrowly missing crashing into him. Squall looked at Irvine, honestly wondering why Irvine was questioning that. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I take it back, you won't have a heart attack by the time you're twenty five, you'll get yourself killed way before that." He got a glare for that but simply shrugged and followed Squall into the bar. As soon as they were inside, Irvine tapped him on the shoulder. 

"What do you want?" Squall asked softly, glancing back at Irvine.

"What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?"

Squall almost smiled for a moment, rolling his eyes in appreciative exasperation. "Keep your mind on the job Kinneas." He turned back to the bar and looked around for a suitable volunteer.

It hadn't been that hard to find a guard willing to arrest an escapee and his accomplice. Of course, Squall breaking his nose with the first punch may have had a hand in convincing him. The arrogant idiot hadn't even thought that they might be letting him catch them, that it would barely take them two minutes to finish him. 

Then they'd been dragged to the d-district prison and sentenced. 

Then dragged again to the "GF room". 

The gf room was a small room, barely more than twelve feet square and three quarters of it was taken up by a ruddy black machine. Ominous, something out of a nightmare, the bastard offspring of a oilboyle and a blood soul machine stood in grim silence awaiting the next victim eagerly. The bed, angled at to the floor so the "patient" was just off balance, leaning back a little more than was comfortable was surrounded by what looked like a pair of jaws. 

They attached the electrodes of the contemptible machine's helmet to Squall's temples, and forced him to lie back, strapping first his upper arms down and binding his ankles to the table. Finally they slipped the helmet onto his head and with a hum the machine was powered up.  

As the first current of magical energy ripped through his body, he'd almost bitten through his lip. 

At the third jolt, he heard a scream.

At the fifth, he realised it was his own. 

When they let him free after the seventh shock, bereft of Shiva and Bahmut, Doom train no longer sitting in the back of his mind waiting to be summoned, Squall slowly crumbled to his knees. It took a few moments to convince his body not to throw up before he stood again, unable to lift his head to see them put Irvine through the same torture. 

Squall could take them removing his gunblade. Even his magic. 

But not Shiva.

The sensation had been vile, like being violated in a thousand ways at once, his mind being compromised and the one constant in his life being torn from him, ripped out of his head by force without even a moment's compassion. Like a child with an insect, tearing the wings from the creature and leaving it in hideous pain. 

And, for the first time since before he'd first junctioned the Ice goddess all those years before, Squall knew and felt keenly that he was completely alone. And he was afraid. 

Irvine didn't scream. His junctions weren't as deep rooted as Squall's, having only been using them a few months instead of half his life. He usually kept Siren and Cactaur unjunctioned, he knew he'd already forgotten things that he was supposed to remember, but the GF's were useful. He let them go quicker than Squall had. 

He listened to Squall ask "Odine designed that, didn't he?" as the doctor removed the electrodes from Irvine's skin a little sharply.   
  
"How did you know that?" 

Squall shrugged. "Lucky guess." 

Irvine wondered where they'd got the machine. It hadn't been there the last time they'd visited, looked kinda new. Maybe Odine was selling his research overseas for a little bonus.

His legs felt like jelly, he could barely stand for a moment and he had to hold onto the guards arm, murmuring Squall's name softly. 

Then Irvine was being forced to his feet and pushed into the next room, not given a choice in the matter.  He was forced against the wall beside Squall, his arms pulled behind his back and cuffed there firmly. "Hey!"

Squall remained silent as the cuffs were snapped around his wrists. He seemed almost dead, unresponsive to everything, barely even acknowledging the guard. Slowly, he lifted his mercury-coloured gaze to Irvine's eyes. He appeared almost… a hollow shell, unaffected by everything. It was strange. The only time he'd heard Squall scream in his life had been barely what, five minutes before? 

He knew Squall had been junctioned for more than nine years. He'd gotten Shiva for the first time when he was still eight. All that power pushed on a kid just because he showed promise. Seemed almost criminal. All that time junctioning every day, half the time staying junctioned for days, weeks, months on end… This had to be hard on him.

"Squall…" Irvine whispered and was struck across the back of his head for his troubles. 

"No talking!" 

Squall gave him a look that said listen to the guard. 

Irvine shrugged the guard's hands off as they were pulled away from the wall and was cuffed once more, before they were both forced through the halls and down to the higher security cells. Squall coughed as they passed a guarded room, and Irvine looked at him, tipping his head towards the door. Squall nodded briefly.  It had to be the prisoner they were looking for.

Further and further down, into the bowels of the prison they were pushed, until finally the guards opened a door and threw them inside. Squall stumbled, still dizzy from having the junctions removed so forcibly. "Watch it you bastard." He seethed softly.

The guard stalked to him. "Don't call me that." He hissed and dragged Squall to his feet, raising his fist to give him a sound right hook; almost enough to knock the brunette back down, though not quite.

Squall lashed out, driving his knee deep into the guard's crotch and licking a trail of blood from his lip.

A second guard moved forward, grabbing hold of the collar of Squall's jacket and whacking him across the side of his head with a club before flinging him at the wall of the cell. Squall hit it hard, with a loud gasp of breath as the air rushed from his body and he slid down the wall slowly. Irvine was at his side in a second, leaning over him protectively. 

"All ya got kid?" The guard hissed as someone helped the fallen man to his feet. 

Squall glared up at him. "Not by a long shot." 

The same man braced one foot on Squall's thigh as he leant down to unlock his wrists. "Try it again pretty boy and you'll just be a smear on this floor." 

As the same man unlocked Irvine's wrists, Squall struggled to stand only for Irvine to hold him in place. "Stay down."

"You should listen to the wuss." The guard sneered and backed off. 

Irvine stood. "Tch. I'm only tellin' him 'cause I don't want him in here for murder too!" 

"Yeah yeah, whatever." The door was slammed shut with a resounding clang.

"Bastard. I can't believe he hit you." Irvine turned around to glance at Squall. 

The brunette figure was leant against the wall in the dingy cell, his face turned up ever so slightly. His quicksilver eyes were closed, and his breathing was shallow, his hands shaking faintly. He looked so pale in the dull light, his visage drained of all colour, as white as his still immaculate shirt. 

"Squall?"

There was no answer. 

  
  


END CHAPTER

Thank you very much to those who have already reviewed.

Redrum – I love the image too. ^_^ And the pov is with many thanks to Astraea, who helped me a lot over the last year. I've spent a lot of time role playing as these two with her and I adore her Irvine. That's why this is dedicated to her.

… - Thank you. More, as you wanted. ^_^

Squall Jecht Leonhart – I'm sorry, but this will be one of those stories. I write YAOI stories,  and thus, this too will be YAOI. *shrug* I like my boys to like their boys, sorry again.

Kafers – He's a pretty funny guy at times. And of course he lusts after Squall,  I mean look at that ass in leather. 

More coming soon.  


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer They don't belong to me ha ha they don't belong to me.  
  
A/N I hate this chapter. I just can't get it right so I'm posting now anyways.  
  
For What It's Worth.  
  
Still dedicated to Astraea Trepe, with thanks to Race Ulfson, KNW and Demon Ryu.  
  
Chapter three.  
  
Irvine knelt beside Squall and shook him gingerly. "Hey darlin', wake up. Don't you fade out on me here!"  
  
The silver-grey eyes opened slowly to glare at Irvine. "Leave me alone."  
  
The Galbadian checked over the commander gingerly, examining his head. "Can't do that darlin'." Irvine scooped Squall up and unceremoniously but gently dropped him on the bed before he even had the opportunity to struggle. "Concussion, I think. Looks like I'm gonna be keepin' ya awake for a while."  
  
Squall glared at Irvine silently for daring to pick him up then turned his attention to the wall opposite.  
  
"What's wrong?" Irvine enquired softly as he sat beside the brunette.  
  
"Nothing." Squall glared at the wall harder, determined to stay awake and alert.  
  
"Keep starin' at the wall like that and it'll melt darlin'." Irvine smiled teasingly, although Squall did not turn his head to see it.  
  
"Whatever." His gaze was softening as the sluggishness threatened to overcome him.  
  
Irvine chuckled softly and watched as Squall's eyelids slowly drooped, his shoulders slumping and his breathing deepened. "Hey, c'mon darlin' wake up."  
  
"I'm tired." He murmured, leaning a little heavier against Irvine.  
  
"I know darlin', just hold on a little longer. Talk to me, keep your eyes open." He shook Squall gently. "You had a nasty knock ta the head, "  
  
"Who. The guard? Had worse." There was a slight slur to his voice, having to think carefully before speaking. "I'll be okay, I'm just tired."  
  
"You're unjunctioned remember? You ain't invincible Squall, just feels like it." He watched as his commander's eyelids drooped further before closing completely. He shook the brunette a little harder than he meant to, watching in horror as he lolled in his arms like a limp rag doll before suddenly snatching himself out of Irvine's grip.  
  
"Don't.."  
  
"Talk to me and I won't have ta touch you Squall."  
  
"I don't talk. I'm the iceberg remember?"  
  
"I won't tell no one." He offered an arm, and Squall leant against him hesitantly., then a little more heavily as he relaxed. "C'mon Squall."  
  
"What should I talk about?" He murmured, his head resting against Irvine's shoulder. Irvine could have sworn that the brunette nuzzled against him for a moment.  
  
"Anything, um. how 'bout why you chose the gunblade?"  
  
A brief pause before his voice broke the air again. "To prove myself. Everyone else was more interested in something lighter and faster to learn, no one wanted to use something that difficult. I thought if I could learn it, it'd prove I was good enough to be in Garden."  
  
"You've certainly done that. How come you felt like you had to prove yourself?"  
  
He shrugged. "People teasing me, Seifer."  
  
Irvine blinked. "People teased you?"  
  
A curt nod and just a very gentle nuzzle of his cheek against Irvine's shoulder. "I was the shortest guy in class until Zell came to garden. I didn't pay attention to them I just."  
  
"Wanted to show them you were capable, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Well you certainly did that." He leant back to look at the commander. "Ya know I never thought on how much smaller than me you were."  
  
Squall groaned softly and glared at him half-heartedly and he looked away again. "Don't you start too."  
  
"It's true. I don't think of you as being a little guy. Your attitude makes up for it." A murmur of agreement as he closed his eyes again. "Squall? Squall!" He shook the dark haired man again gently, this time gaining no response. "Hyne, Squall, don't you scare me like this. Dammit, you better not punch me for this."  
  
He cupped the back of Squall's head and kissed him, teasing his tongue between Squall's lips and forcing him to respond. Which he did, almost eagerly, a hand reaching up to grasp Irvine's shoulder. A half-strangled cry of surprise escaped him as he realised what was happening and pushed Irvine away, his eyes wide with amazement at the audacity. At the talent. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"I guess this makes you sleeping beauty. I woke you up with a kiss." He grinned that easy, lazy, seductive grin.  
  
".Whatever."  
  
Irvine chuckled. "Sorry darlin', I couldn't resist."  
  
"I thought you were straight."  
  
"Funny, I thought you were too." The blush that rose on Squall's cheeks was nothing short of adorable. "Is anyone in that garden straight or do they put somethin' in the water?" Squall smiled faintly. "You've got a concussion Squall, I gotta keep you awake for a few hours. Now you can either talk to me, or spend the next hyne knows how many hours kissin' me and quite frankly I don't care either way."  
  
"." Squall narrowed his eyes on Irvine.  
  
"I take it that means it's the talk to me option? If you don't answer I'll kiss ya again."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"That doesn't count as an answer." Irvine teased, leaning closer.  
  
"What should I talk about this time?" Squall asked softly, giving up.  
  
"Whatever you want darlin'. How's your head?"  
  
Squall lifted a hand to where his head had struck the wall. "Sore, what do you think?"  
  
Irvine leant back against the wall behind the low cot. "Was kinda asking about the junctions."  
  
"Oh." Squall puzzled for a second and looked at him. "Quiet."  
  
"Quiet?"  
  
"I can't hear Shiva like I usually can." Squall frowned faintly, his brow furrowing. "It's .quiet."  
  
"You hear her?"  
  
Squall smiled faintly, the corners of his mouth pulling up just a little. "Yeah. Sometimes. Bahmut, doomtrain, they're different. I can only feel them, just hear little things every now and then, but Shiva talks to me."  
  
"Maybe you hit your head harder than I thought."  
  
Squall sighed and leant back against the wall beside him, pulling his knees up and hugging them absently. His posture was defensive and tired, tucking his head down. "I've been junctioned to her for so long, she talks to me. Not much, and not often just. sometimes. Bahmut and Doomtrain, let me feel what they are but I haven't had them nearly as long. .Six months at most. Shiva's been in my head for nine years. Even when she doesn't speak I can hear her thoughts from time to time."  
  
"Hyne, Squall, you told anyone about this?"  
  
"Zell knows." He looked up at Irvine sadly. "Quez does the same with him. I think the GF has to want to be junctioned to you to do it."  
  
"You miss her don't you?" Irvine reached out gently to touch Squall's cheek, watching him flinch.  
  
"Of course I do." Squall lowered his head. "She's the most constant influence I've had."  
  
Irvine found it heartbreaking that the only person that had stayed around long enough for Squall to feel absolutely safe with them was the Guardian force goddess of ice. "Squall."  
  
"What? You wanted me to talk."  
  
"Not critisizing that darlin'. Just sayin' I feel sorry for ya."  
  
"I don't want your pity."  
  
"Fine, whatever, forget it!" Irvine grumbled, folding his arms over his chest and watching Squall worriedly. "Do me a favour Squall? Don't come back here. Both times you got hurt."  
  
Squall glanced at the wall opposite. "Maybe it'll be third time lucky and they'll kill me." He replied dryly.  
  
"Don't talk like that!" Irvine was aghast at the statement. "You really mean that?"  
  
"Sometimes." Squall murmured softly and closed his eyes with a sigh. Irvine frowned. All he wanted was to pull Squall into his arms and comfort him. He lowered his arms softly and offered one to Squall.  
  
"Hey, come lay against me." Irvine offered softly. "I'm not gonna do anythin', but if ya do go to sleep, I can wake you up a little more gently." He smiled as endearingly as he could. "Please Squall, you're scarin' me."  
  
Squall regarded him thoughtfully. "I don't need." Irvine looked almost disheartened. "Fine. just for tonight though."  
  
"Good enough for me. Just til you're healed up." Slowly, Squall moved closer to Irvine, resting his head on the Galbadian's shoulder and curling against his side. He nuzzled against the soft suede of Irvine's jacket gently, closing his eyes and relaxing. "Didn't say you could stop talking to me darlin'."  
  
They continued to talk, until finally, Irvine allowed Squall to rest, on the condition he stayed right there in his arms. As the brunette slept, he slid an arm around Irvine's waist, cuddling closer unintentionally. Irvine squeezed him, murmuring "You know darlin', I could get used to this."  
  
He nuzzled against Squall's silk soft hair, and smiled as he gently drifted off to sleep.  
  
END CHAPTER  
  
Renegade Seraph: Thankyou. Squall in a hat does that to me too. ^_^ Guesto-chan: I'm keeping them coming. *eyes later chapters* sometimes literally. "." I hurt him! He's my favourite muse and I beat on him regularly. Race: Don't we all sweet heart? Ilana Sara and Tenken: I would, but you'd have to wait months to see the next chapters. 


	4. Chapter Four

The characters and places contained within this work of fiction do not belong to me, and I make no claim or profit from this.  
  
Still dedicated to Astraea Trepe, with many, many thanks to Race Ulfson, KNW and Demonryu.  
  
For What It's Worth.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
The guards had burst into their cell early; it seemed the one who Squall had counter attacked so swiftly the previous day had returned for revenge. He'd dragged Squall to his feet and proceeded to beat on the groggy SeeD until Squall had started hitting back, then he'd pulled a club out and hit Squall with such force it had driven him against the wall.  
  
The sickly crack that accompanied the sound of Squall's head striking that wall made Irvine balk. He struggled violently to get away from the guards holding him, trying desperately to reach Squall to help him but the guards held him fast. "Leave him alone!"  
  
A sneer, a harsh laugh and a decent right hook were all he received for his troubles.  
  
Squall lifted his head to glare at Irvine. "Shut up." Was all he said before turning his attention back to the guard. Oh hyne don't be a hero Leonhart if they knock you down, stay down, I don't want to see you die. I don't want to see you get hurt again.  
  
Again he was struck, forced back against the wall by the force of the blow, staggered for a moment. The club rose and came down with a stomach-churning wet crunch sound, bone jarring against bone, blood rising in a fine spray.  
  
He sagged instantly, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. For a horribly long and lucid moment, Irvine believed him dead. Finally he took a trembling breath.  
  
The guards laughed, releasing him only for him to drop to his knees at Squall's side, pulling the limp brunette into his lap and lifting him up carefully to examine the wound in the light that pooled through the window of the cell door.  
  
The guards left, and Squall stirred, opening his eyes. "Irvine..?" He lifted a hand to his temple and hissed in pain.  
  
"I think they got a thing about whacking ya on the head darlin'." He brushed Squall's hair back from the crimson liquid that was now oozing down the side of his face. "We gotta find him and get outta here. Soon."  
  
Squall nodded and winced.  
  
"You gonna fall asleep on me this time too?"  
  
"That depends." A small smile.  
  
"On?"  
  
"Whether you're going to kiss me again."  
  
"Why commander, if I didn't know better I'd say you were flirting with me." Irvine grinned. This was the first time Squall had even responded to him with anything more than an eye roll or a whatever.  
  
"How do you know it's not a threat?"  
  
"One way to find out." Irvine bent his head and brushed his lips against Squall's briefly; adoring the sweet, tender response he gained. He slid his fingers over Squall's cheek, tasting the brunette, savouring the sensation. Leaning back after what seemed like hours, he murmured. "I guess it isn't a threat."  
  
Squall remained silent, simply watching him.  
  
"Hold onto me tight darlin'." Irvine requested as he carefully and gently pulled Squall into his arms, lifting him slowly. Squall struggled and clutched his head, murmuring softly in pain. "I'm just going to put you on the bunk Squall. Try not to move around so much, I'll drop ya and make ya worse."  
  
Tightening his slender fingers in the rough material of Irvine's shirt, Squall clung to him, closing his eyes tight. The sticky wet heat of blood began to trickle down his forehead and cheek as Irvine lay him on the bunk, and cursed softly.  
  
"Someone really oughta shut this place down." Irvine muttered, ripping a strip from the hem of his shirt and pulling one of the bottles of water over, dampened the cloth. "Just lay still Squall, I'm gonna try and clean you up a little."  
  
"I'm not an invalid Irvine."  
  
"Nah, but I bet you're seein' three of me right now ain'tcha?" He gingerly wiped away the blood from where it threatened to encroach on Squall's eye. "And that's just from the kiss."  
  
"Five actually." Squall murmured, his voice still faintly slurred, his eyes closing and his fingers tangling in the loose, rough blankets of the bunk.  
  
"Hey, I'm even better than I thought I was." Irvine grinned, amusement in his eyes. "First thing I'm doin' when we get outta here is getting you somewhere I can clean you up properly."  
  
"You just want to wash my hair." Squall murmured as Irvine fussed over him like a mother hen. The galbadian was proud of his hair. Selphie had found out that brushing it relaxed him like it would stroking a cat and he simply enjoyed playing with his lover's hair. It would have been so easy to tease him over it had he not been proud of the fact.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Kink." His voice was so faint and low.  
  
"Right again."  
  
Squall watched Irvine in the dull light, sleepily. "I don't understand you."  
  
"Not sure I understand you either darlin'." Irvine set the rag down and gently moved Squall to a position he'd find more comfortable before stretching out at his side. "Seems like you're all cold one minute and then you go and do somethin' crazy like smile at me and it damn well takes my breath away. Wanna know more about you but you won't let me in long enough to find out."  
  
Squall clutched Irvine's shirt as he moved a little further away, fingers so tight in the material, just watching the Galbadian.  
  
"Where you going darlin'? What's wrong?"  
  
"I. don't know."  
  
"Come on Squall." He coaxed gently. "Lie still and talk to me. You know the more you move more your head's gonna hurt."  
  
"I don't know what to talk about." Squall murmured softly.  
  
"How about why you're so scared of me curlin' up to ya like this?"  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Lying ta me again?"  
  
Squall closed his eyes with a sigh. "I just. don't feel comfortable."  
  
Slowly, Irvine moved closer, until he was pressed against Squall's side. "How come Squall?" He coaxed gently, just lightly stroking a hand on Squall's stomach. "You know I won't hurt you. I just want to make sure you're well enough to walk outta here when the time comes."  
  
Those grey eyes glittered like silver in the half-light, studying Irvine curiously. "Why are you so curious?"  
  
"I don't know." Irvine smiled. "Does it matter?"  
  
"Sometimes." Squall reached up to cup Irvine's cheek, tracing a thumb over the line of his cheek bone. Irvine nuzzled into the touch gently, his eyes closing and a faint smile curving his lips, just enjoying the sensation of Squall's touch.  
  
"Only sometimes darlin'?" Irvine peeked at Squall thoughtfully, giving him a half smile gently.  
  
"Yeah." Squall trailed his fingertips down along the line of Irvine's jaw slowly.  
  
"You know Squall, I ain't gonna hurt ya." Irvine gently wiped away a trickle of blood that had escaped him and checked gently to see if the bleeding had stopped. "Keep talking to me darlin', 'fore I give that pretty mouth of yours somethin' else to do."  
  
The pale, slender fingers tangled in Irvine's hair. "I just don't like being so close, it makes me feel trapped. No where to escape to." Squall's voice was growing drowsy. "It's easier with you though."  
  
"Than who darlin'?"  
  
"It doesn't matter."  
  
"Rinoa?" Squall brushed his lips over Irvine's gently, avoiding the question completely. "Squall I think that head wound's serious, you just kissed me."  
  
Squall murmured "is that a bad thing?"  
  
"As long as you don't kill me in the mornin', nope." Irvine kissed Squall tenderly and slowly, sublimely sensuous, taking delight in the sound of Squall's soft little moan into his mouth. He didn't push. He didn't take anymore than was offered. Kisses interrupted by questions and curious little touches. He relished the sensation of Squall relaxing against him, trusting him and just., needing him for a little while.  
  
"Irvine. why are you.?" The brunette looked faintly confused and a little worried.  
  
"Why am I what Squall?" He asked softly.  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"What, holding you?" Irvine squeezed the brunette gently. "Kissing you?"  
  
"Yeah." Squall's voice was quiet, almost like he didn't really want to know but couldn't resist asking.  
  
"One, because I have to keep you awake and it's a hell of a lot more fun than just talking all night like we did last time, not that I didn't enjoy that of course." He brushed a strand of Squall's hair back behind his ear. "And two because I think you're probably the prettiest thing I ever laid eyes on." Squall blushed furiously. "That just makes you cuter."  
  
Squall glared at him.  
  
"Oh, you like pretty but you don't like cute?" Irvine teased gently, trailing his fingers gently back and forth along Squall's shoulder.  
  
"Whatever." Squall muttered.  
  
Irvine laughed. "I thought so." He smiled, a small smile, which became all the brighter when Squall returned it. "It's true. Especially when you do that."  
  
"I'll try to do it more for you then."  
  
"Ya know, if you do, you're gonna be givin' me the idea that you actually like me."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Not like that. I mean like me like me, you know?"  
  
Squall blinked up at Irvine for a moment, then curled closer to him. "You sound like a teenager."  
  
"May have escaped your attention but I am. So're you." He rubbed Squall's back slowly, enjoying the pressure of their bodies together.  
  
"Mmm" Squall murmured softly and sleepily. "And what if I d."  
  
"Hm? What was that darlin'?"  
  
"What if I did?"  
  
"Then I'd consider myself damn lucky." He watched Squall yawn and fight the urge to sleep. "I think I've kept you up long enough darlin'. You get your head down and get some rest."  
  
Squall rubbed his eyes. "Okay." He slid his arms around the Galbadian and nuzzled against Irvine's throat, closing his eyes. "Stay there."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere. Just gonna watch you for a bit then catch up on my rest." Irvine was surprised at the change in Squall he'd witnessed in only a few hours and hoped to Hyne that it wouldn't change back in the morning. Squall seemed so strong and yet so intimately fragile. Someone to need him as much as he needed them. Every touch of their lips had reaffirmed that view, only made his desire for Squall Leonhart stronger.  
  
He would get into Squall's head. He wanted to see what was hiding under those leather clothes so badly, see what colour silver those eyes would become when he came. To hear Squall moan with pleasure and feel that hard body squirm beneath him.  
  
Irvine was so lost in his thoughts of Squall he didn't hear the soft murmur of "I do like you."  
  
End of chapter  
  
Thank you reviewers ^_^ 


	5. Chapter Five

Still dedicated to Astraea (in advance for putting up with me for 8 days), with many thanks to Race Ulfson and KNW  
  
For what it's worth.  
  
Chapter Five.  
  
When I woke up, he was gone. He'd felt too trapped to sleep in my arms so I let him hold me instead. I think he enjoyed that. I know I did. Funny, I just want to comfort him and I end up being held. I could get used to that. Maybe.  
  
I think he needs to be strong for someone. Whether it's Rin, me or a whole garden, he has to be strong for them. Wonder if that'll change. And there was this underlyin' need for someone to be strong for him too. So he was hard to get sometimes. All the time.  
  
So, he was gone.  
  
I panicked. Jumped up and started bangin' on the door, callin' for the guard. When the door opened I demanded to know where they'd taken my friend and when they wouldn't tell me, I jumped 'em, bein' the fool I am. One knocked me to the ground and kicked me in the ribs a few times. Then they dragged me here. Solitary.  
  
It's pitch black. Can't even see my hand in front of my face. And it's hot. So damned hot it's hard to breathe.  
  
Psh. Like a little heat'll affect a SeeD.  
  
I just wanted to know where they'd taken my commander, my friend. Said it'd give me time alone ta think. Bastards.  
  
Hope Squall's okay.  
  
"Where did you take him?" Squall looked up at the guard as he was lead back into the cell.  
  
"He attacked another guard so we stuck him in solitary to cool off."  
  
Squall glanced around warily, only to have the guard push him in further. He stumbled and leant against the wall to right himself, glaring at the guard. He traced his thumb along the dull edge of the scalpel, hoping silently for a chance.  
  
Squall's fingers tightened around the metal of the scalpel. He lifted his free hand to the bandage that now covered the wound at his hairline as the guard approached him. The cool metal warmed under his fingers as he restlessly rubbed the handle.  
  
"Hurting you kid?" The guard leant towards him, the foul tang of his breath making Squall want to recoil in disgust. "What's up, can't take it without magic?" He lowered his head, silently begging for the man to move just a little closer, make it just a little easier on him. "You know I could be persuaded to give you a potion." The guard moved closer, answering the silent plea.  
  
He was fast. Even without his junctions. The weaponless hand flying up to catch the guard's collar and haul him forward and releasing him quickly, slamming him against the wall hard enough to make him see stars. Squall slid back and spun, tilting his body and lifting his heel to crash into the man's lower back.  
  
The guard cried out in pain, fumbling for spells that he couldn't reach. Squall caught his collar again and dragged him up, setting him on his feet insistently. He lifted the razor sharp blade to his throat and narrowed his eyes on the helmeted captor. "That was for striking me." He whispered softly. "Now, tell me where Irvine is, and the location of your weapons lockers. I want my gunblade."  
  
"He's on the next floor up.. The.the weapons are stored two floors below."  
  
"And my GF's?"  
  
"Don't kill me."  
  
"Tell me."  
  
"They're on the next floor up too. Store room."  
  
"Thank you." Squall almost smiled. Then he drew the blade slowly across the guard's throat, not savouring the sensation, more ensuring that the meagre cures the helmets stored would not be enough to heal him in the few remaining minutes of his life. The blood flowed thick and hot over his bare fingers and Squall repressed a shudder of disgust.  
  
He set the guard down slowly, paying no heed to the wet choking sound of the man drowning in his own blood. Relieving the corpse of its keys and machine gun, he clicked off the safety and straightened.  
  
Squall walked to the door and glanced out quickly. The guards rarely patrolled. He slipped quietly to the stairs, keeping to the shadows and out of the sight of the small windows of the cell doors. Sneaking up the stairs he cast his eyes around and proceeded to the first door marked "Solitary".  
  
Once unlocked, the door swung open freely.  
  
The room was tiny. Irvine was curled up in one corner, covering his eyes at the sudden flood of illumination from the door in the otherwise lightless room. Squall moved forward to check him.  
  
"Don't fuckin' touch me." The Galbadian growled.  
  
"Irvine, it's me."  
  
"Squall?" Turquoise eyes blinked at him and a trembling hand reached up to grip his shoulder. "Hyne, ya scared me darlin'."  
  
"Come on, we're getting out of here."  
  
"I was kinda hopin' you'd say that." Irvine pulled Squall into a tight hug suddenly, without warning. He was almost surprised when Squall nuzzled against his throat and hugged him back just as tightly. "Hyne darlin' I thought they'd done somethin' to you."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah dar." Irvine released him and twisted the machine gun around, the strap wrenching Squall's shoulder and the force of the kick of the gun making the joint scream in protest. He glanced back to see the fallen bodies of two guards. "So, where's Exeter and Lionheart?"  
  
"Few floors down. GF's are around here somewhere." Squall slipped the machine gun from his shoulder and offered it to Irvine.  
  
"What happened to it's owner?" Irvine asked, nodding to the gun as he pulled it onto his shoulder.  
  
"Scalpel. From the infirmary." Squall shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
"That where they took you?" Irvine touched the bandage gently and glanced down at Squall. He responded with a nod. "Scared the hell out of me when you were gone darlin'. Thought somethin' had happened to you."  
  
"I'm fine." Squall pulled away from him slowly and moved to the door. "Let's go."  
  
He slipped out onto the gangway and glanced around. Only one other door on the floor was solid and, ensuring Irvine was following him, Squall made his way to it quickly. The door was locked but the key was on the ring he had removed from the guard.  
  
"What are you looking for?" Irvine asked as Squall searched the stacked shelves of the small room.  
  
"GF's. They should be here." His hand brushed against a frozen test tube, filled with a shimmering blue liquid. Squall lifted the vial and held it up to the light. ".Shiva."  
  
"Thought GF's only came in one package: your head."  
  
Squall frowned faintly and murmured "No. it's possible to force them into a physical form. Like Diablos' magic lamp."  
  
"Thought you guys were jokin' when you told me that." Irvine blinked.  
  
"No. I'm not sure how it happened, but he was trapped in the lamp. Odine must have found a way to do it."  
  
"They just doin' this so guys like us won't find a way to use the gf's to escape? I mean, if they were plannin' somethin' surely they wouldn't have kept the gf's here?"  
  
Squall nodded thoughtfully and glanced up at Irvine. "Whatever." He searched out the remaining gf's and handed Irvine's preferred junctions. "Perhaps we should wait until it's necessary to rejunction?"  
  
"How come?"  
  
Squall rubbed the edge of the Shiva vial absently. "We don't know what effect the removal had." He frowned at the blue liquid. The tube had reacted to his presence, the ice melting away and the substance crawling along the tube, seeking his warmth, pushing at the bung in the top.  
  
"Sure darlin'." Irvine slid the two vials into a pocket. "So, you find out where they stored our weapons?"  
  
"Three floors down." Squall tucked the tubes somewhere safe as well and motioned for Irvine to lead the way.  
  
When the cowboy turned his back to start for the stairs, Squall thumbed off the cap of Shiva's tube. The cool, faintly oily feel to the super natural creature was almost comforting. Ecstatic to be reunited with her favourite, Shiva let herself be absorbed.  
  
Squall shivered violently as her absolute zero presence filled his mind and body once again, and sighed. 'Do as I say not as I do Leonhart? Tch. Some commander.'  
  
Authors notes:  
  
Sorry it's been so long. Check out my bio for a competition announcement. 


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